and on the next judge judy... "and my head was split in two i bleed so much." "the baseball bat damaged my anus" "oh people just assault for blackmail sometimes be careful." next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... "it was ok i got a little drunk" "everything was ok" "how does that explain your canks?" next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... " well $78 still she owed me in rent." "i was alone locked in the cloakroom i put myself there!" "don't have a semi countersuit that's the problem with money!" next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... 37 yearly bilaterial loan." "i called her back with 10 excuses i lost 2 arguing battles with." "oh you've gotta know when you're licked mate i'm telling ya." next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... "scratches everywhere i was short $78 in rental fees i would've been broke! "well you see i waited--but i oh you!" next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... oh i'm sick of other excuses i'm hearing! your counterclaim's dismissed anyway! "well your honor i cleaned to bleach myself up the day after!" next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... well why don't you resurrect all the other demons and warlocks and sue the charmed ones for $2882938389?!!!" "oh i'm gonna gnorts you right up your nose." next judge judy.

who will be on judge judy next? stavros panayotakis and gayle barville.

and on the next judge judy... "i was fine on the friday (coughing) and she stole a voice!" "they constantly slashed my tyres!" "listen here i'm a judge not a mechanic." next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... "believe me you don't wanna have a random." "take my advice leave before i kick you out." next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... me. then i'm like "leave!"" "well your honor we did get convinced that i---" "no! you can't call PBS and CPA at the same time that's the problem with sacramento!" next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... "scratches ev fence so horrible!" "they kicked me out because she didn't pay $55 in rent!" "well choose the right boyfriend next time! that's the problem with poor judgement." next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... "knife stitches everywhere. and i still owe the car by month!" "oh naughty naughty naughty!"

and on the next judge judy... was i was still lost." "the books snapped a surfboard on me anyway next thing i know i get punched." "well it's either a boxing ring or $7888888 (laughing)" next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... o pay the mortgage and we waited for a bit. "i was basically just not allocated to be at the party for 3:00 PM." "oh welcome back to hell bloodglutton and snakeskirt." next judge judy.

and on the next judge judy... shocked when i rolled into the confessional." "the whole incident went to australia's funniest home video show." "mascots can be jumpy at times." next judge judy.